- In The Beginning Is Family
- Primary Relationships
- Kindred Spirits
- Soul And Relationship
- Pleasure Passion And Love
- Crossing Paths
- The Birth Chart
- The Planets
- The Aspects
I usually hang out on the set. I get to know everybody. I have a nice time with the other actors.
The very first relationship begins within family. No matter what your individual fate may be, your family is where you forged your earliest relationships, took your beginning steps and first experienced an attachment to someone else. Your earliest experiences of forming an emotional bond have a decisive influence on your capacity to feel safe enough to explore relationships beyond the foundation stones of your family. If you experienced a secure attachment then mastery over your environment as you grow up is a lot easier. This is because you were more aware of feeling safe and knowing you were loved. Human beings gain a greater sense of self, distinct from the family, in the shelter of a safe nest and with adequate protection. We learn to develop our individuality when we have developed a sense of belonging. In a perfect world the family matrix supports and secures our sense of self. Ironically, the deeper the sense of safety and belonging, the more capacity there is for individuality and forging intimate adult attachments.
It begins with your family. But soon it comes round to your soulThe Sisters of Mercy
Without an early sense of acceptance and attachment, feeling secure enough to forge bonds outside the family is more complex. In this case, later relationships can become a test of our sense of safety and acceptance. Also our family is a training ground for the ways that we view relationship patterns. Father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter are all relationships that are illustrated in your Horoscope not only as literal figures, but depicting the patterns of relationships. A helpful way of thinking about your mother or father is not who they are, what they did, how they behaved but how this impacted on you and hence created patterns of behaviour in your life.
In astrology this early bonding process is depicted by the Moon. The Moon symbolises what you need to feel accepted and loved. It indicates the nature of your home and your quest to belong. As the symbol of your deepest emotional patterns, it reflects how you nest and protect yourself. Therefore, through the Moon, you can see indications of your living space, eating patterns, and habitual routines. It also represents 'mother love', your ability to feel loved and your experience of being loved. It symbolises not only your earliest associations but also your adolescent and then adult relationships.
If your earliest experiences have not been life-enhancing then you may need to change some of your innate relationship expectations and patterns. Modern psychologists would emphasise the need “to re-parent” this part of yourself in adult relationships. The Moon can help in this process by indicating the ways in which you can find solace and comfort in the depths of yourself. It is important to recognise your own needs, so you are not subconsciously expecting your friends and partners to fulfill them. Unmet needs can contribute to feeling dependent and hinder your ability to enjoy true intimacy. The idiosyncrasies, habits and routines you bring into relationships are a function of the Moon. Ironically destiny challenges you in your adult relationships to find healthy ways to nurture your personal needs. Therefore it is of prime importance to come to know your Moon as intimately and as respectfully as you can.
The Moon is in Cancer
Cancer is the sign that represents the personal sphere, in particular bringing depth and intensity of feeling to family relationships and kinship. Hence from the earliest memory your Moon in Cancer instinctually sought attachment to your mother and caretakers. You needed to feel protected and part of a clan in order to feel secure. With this deep sense of closeness you were more likely to develop your ability to feel safe. Rather than retreating from the world or shying away from life you could feel a part of the family. You need to belong and when you do you are secure enough to express your tenderness and kindness. Having such vulnerability you need to feel safe enough to express your feelings without fear of being hurt or rejected. However, if this deep sense of safety and family was compromised in your early experience, so too is your ability to be open and vulnerable. If this is the case then you are likely to retreat into the hard shell that protects you.
Your family of origin and parents are associated with the sign of Cancer; therefore the Moon here suggests that you need a clan, a tribe, a group to belong to. Yes we do have hermit crabs, but that's probably not you. You need to belong and the instinctual response to this need is through nurturing, either by being cared for or caring for others. You bring your caring nature into your attachments, whether that is your family of origin, your family of choice, your friends, work mates or house mates. As a child you needed this sense of tenderness; as an adult you seek this sense of belonging through kindness, which can make it difficult when the world does not share your sensitivities. Cancer is a Cardinal sign suggesting the need to act on your instincts, hunches and feelings about others. As well as harbouring deep feelings you are probably quite expressive of these emotions, not able to hide how you are feeling. Laughter, tears, moods, all describe you. Therefore it is best to use these to your advantage. Sometimes just a simple act of kindness is all it takes.
In adult relationships love and care often are intertwined and it is best to be conscious of this. Since you forge deeply caring bonds, you need to be aware of how others lean on you and inhibit your own needs. What is the difference between nurturing and caring for others as opposed to unhealthy dependency? While dependency is a necessary aspect of your relationships it is always important to balance this with taking care of your own needs, expressing your true feelings and trusting your instincts.
Sentiment, the past and tradition are important to you and in relationship you need to feel you are part of something larger. Therefore family values become important to you and your partner needs to be your family as well.
Mars is Square The Moon
If your attachment was secure, your parents have encouraged your expression of appropriate desires, self-assertion and how to use your will to achieve positive outcomes. You feel able to express your individuality and your anger and still feel that you are loved and that you belong. By feeling bonded, your capacity to explore outside the family would not been compromised by unresolved feelings of anger or rivalry. Therefore you are better equipped to differentiate between your own desires and the needs of others, not feeling that you need to act in the way others demand in order for you to feel safe and acceptable.
However, when attachment has been compromised, the family atmosphere of suppressing anger clouds your ability to express anger in a healthy manner and leaves you feeling you must go after what you want in a covert or under-handed way. You learn that that to be angry means love will be withdrawn. Your inability to sustain an enduring bond might be anchored in the early feelings of not being supported to be both independent and intimate. When caught in a fight-or-flight syndrome, you might indiscriminately react.
Your kindred spirits will understand your need for freedom and self expression without demanding concessions. They will also support your independent spirit and volatile reactions without threat of withdrawal. Because your attachment style may have shaped your vigilance and strong reactions, it does not mean that all adult relationships will demand you compromise your integrity or mask your negative feelings. Through your relationships you learn that the dual impulses of mastery and frustration, love and anger, freedom and intimacy can coexist.
Neptune is Square The Moon
The ideal of the family is important. Creativity, spirituality and a heightened sensitivity to others are aspects of family life that you registered as important. Emotional understanding, compassion for others in your family and the community at large, as well as the urge to serve others, are all a part of your family ethos in some way. Unspoken rules, ideals and expectations were the language of your family that had a great impact on your sense of safety. This meant that you read subtitles early and tried to fit in to unspoken expectations or live up to unexpressed ideals. Your need to bond, be close and merge is highlighted. Therefore themes of enmeshment, sacrifice, relinquishment and illness may dominate your family inheritance when these two entities combine.
If you felt your parental bond was secure, then you felt protected and looked after, encouraged to be creative and imaginative. Within a fluid and flexible family atmosphere you could feel secure without visible structures and limits. Was your family able to instill confidence in your improvisations and creativity? Are you able to feel secure with your own inner creative resourcefulness? With a positive bond your imagination and creativity was encouraged helping you develop a healthy relationship between your inner world of fantasy and your outer world of reality. Feeling understood and accepted allows you to locate your creative feelings in expression, not relegate them to a world of make believe.
However if family bonding was enmeshed you may feel looked over and invisible in the family unit. Your need to sacrifice your independence and will for the sake of the unity of the family, was an unspoken rule. This may have been due to an illness or tragedy in the family that demands you surrender your individuality to attend to the family. However it leaves you feeling caught up in a complex that you cannot unravel or leave. A lack of boundary might have discouraged your development of a private or inner self. A parent may have been ill, weak or victimised yet uses this to wield power confusing your ability to be accepted and understood in your own right. If your sense of self was sacrificed for the family you are left feeling misunderstood and not met. You are at risk of carrying this projection into adult relationships, expecting either to be rescued or the one who will rescue. Being entangled in the family web places you at risk when leaving home, feeling compelled to stay to care for others, attend to the parent's needs or remain for peacekeeping duties. With family difficulties, the danger at becoming psychologically stranded is increased and you could languish in a twilight zone to avoid the process of separation.
The astrological combination suggests that you might have sacrificed personal needs for idealistic and universal ones. Psychologically this might lead to a loss of identity or lack of boundary in adult relationships. However your kindred spirits will help you draw the line between fantasy and reality. Soulmates will also not expect you to give up any part of who you are to be in relationship with them. They accept you for who you are not, who you could be or an idealised version of your potential self. They encourage your innate creativity and lose themselves in the magic of relationship. You always know when you are with your soulmate as you feel more connected, more present and more energised. Hence it is good to be aware that when you are in relationships that feel draining, confusing and chaotic you have fallen into the web of losing self to be accepted. Your kindred spirits want you to be your self not surrender to their ideologies, addictions or narcissistic tendencies.
Home is Where We Start From
Planets in the 4th House describe the climate of your family home and the attitudes and influences of your family of origin. These attitudes shape your sense of inner security and the degree to which you feel safe enough to reach out to others. Because 4th House patterns are not always conscious, the planetary energies may not be fully known or understood until they surface in adult relationships as non-supportive habits and unclear behaviourial patterns. A planet or planets located in the 4th House are bedrock and foundation for the security, inner strength and self acceptance that you later bring into your adult relationships.
Without planets in this sphere, the conditions of the House can be described in other ways such as the Sign on the Cusp and its Ruler. Planets, however, personify archetypal images and without a planet in the 4th, the astrologer's focus would be on the Moon to describe the attachment style moulded through the family. Take a moment to reflect on how you feel the level of emotional safety in your family influenced your relationship blueprint.
Neptune is in the Fourth House
If your early life was idyllic, then you might yearn to regress back to the garden of your childhood where everything was perfect in contrast to the confusion of adult life. The ideal of family is important to you; however this might be at odds with your real experience. Your tendency to idealise a parent or a family situation might be your antidote to easing the pain of reality. Often behind idealisation is loss, and with Neptune in your 4th House you might re-imagine your family experiences to manage the pain of not having close connections. The loss of a parent is not necessarily literal although this is a possibility; this suggests the loss of emotional bonding or a missing attachment to a parent. Often there are literal reasons for this like illness, work, disability or separation. Sometime you may have felt the parents were more involved in caring for the world rather than yourself.
Therefore you might have felt the need to relinquish what is important to you for the greater good of the family. Making concessions might be part of the family legacy; therefore holding on to your individuality may have been difficult. Subtly, you might feel you lost your grip on what you desired and learned to fit into what others wanted of you. You instinctually feel other's expectations of you and respond, often trying to fulfil their unexpressed desires. Personal identity and individuality is surrendered to the group. Therefore it is important to recognise that in later relationships you might be prone to giving up something of value to keep peace in the family you have created. Deep inside you know that this is not right, but feel almost helpless to change it. But changing this dynamic is your challenge.
Underpinning the family might have been strong spiritual ideals. The way that the family expressed its religious attitudes, compassion and spiritual ideals has a formative impact on your beliefs and search for security. A pattern of sacrifice of the family or the intimacy of relationship for a higher ideal, spiritual goal or religious conviction might underpin the family ethos, shaping how you feel about spirituality. Therefore it is important to reflect on this and how it may interfere with formation of adult relationships. Alternately parental addiction, whether that be to a substance, an ideal or a belief, might have left you feeling unattended. Outer planets located in the depth of the 4th House suggest that some of the imprints of your ancestral or family experiences may be addressed in your adult years as you forge relationships and consider your family of choice. Since Neptune makes its first square in its cycle around age 41, the early 40's are often coloured with these earlier issues. The childhood pattern that may reappear is your instinct to sacrifice your needs for others leaving you feeling misunderstood and invisible. Your kindred will respond to your kindness and compassion without taking advantage and encourage you to follow your own dreams, not other's expectations.
The 3rd House significantly contributes to shaping relationship patterns, as this is where the first connection with peers is located. Initial experiences of these relationships make their impression on our attitudes towards companionship, partnership and friendship. Feelings, reactions, trauma, trust, freedom, love, fear, in effect the full spectrum of early relationships, lay the foundation for our adult attachments to friends and partners. This sector of the Horoscope is the storehouse where attitudes towards others that shared our early environment, mainly siblings, but also cousins, neighbourhood friends and primary schoolmates, are contained. Social interactions with partners, colleagues and acquaintances have their origins in these experiences, suggesting the 3rd House of the Horoscope reveals the template for relationship pattern.
One would be in less danger from the wiles of a stranger, if one’s own kin and kith Were more fun to be with
The 3rd House is critical when analyzing relationships since it illustrates how we first experience peers and the impact they may have on future relationships. We first test the response from the world through the action or reaction of our siblings and early childhood playmates. The sibling relationship can extend to friends, classmates and others, particularly for only children. In many cases of an only child, fate arranges it so there is a replacement sibling: a cousin, a neighbour, a step-sibling or special friend.
When investigating the 3rd House it is important to recognise our position in the family. Our birth order, along with the number and gender of our siblings, has a considerable impact on personality. Birth order was often a theme in the myths, fairy tales, fables and biblical stories we grew up with.
It is often enlightening to consider your birth position and how that impacts on your relationships. Expectations, patterns we repeat with partners and even our choice of mate may be more influenced by our siblings than we realise.
Following are some illustrations of your 3rd House energies which may help you reflect on your earliest relationships, especially those with siblings, cousins, neighbourhood chums, schoolmates, sports buddies and friends.
Third House Cusp is in Virgo
Virgo suggests ways in which you may create a sense of well being through daily rituals that help you maintain your centre and your privacy. Daily housekeeping rituals that provide a sense of order and cohesion to your life help anchor you in the hearth of your self, reducing stress. On the 3rd House Cusp Virgo highlights this need for order in the everyday experience of sharing daily tasks and intimate space with your siblings and schoolmates. What rituals or activities were important for you in growing up that helped you protect your privacy and solitude? In your sibling and early relationships you may have begun to weave the pattern of how you dealt with the chaos and commotion of relating and how you managed living with other's mess and confusion. The pandemonium of living with others was challenged early.
Your sense of duty and service is also brought out in early relationship and might impact your later feelings of obligation and responsibility in relationships. Fate may have arranged a situation where you might have to administer and help in some away. The health of a sibling may have been an issue in the early years. Daily life may have focused on their well being and you may have been involved in some of their supervision. The well being of the sibling may have unconsciously moulded your attitudes towards your own health and daily maintenance. If the pattern of health was an issue in the early sibling environment, you may unconsciously carry this pattern into the adult sphere of relating once again, interacting with partners where health is a focus. On the other end of the spectrum this suggest that there may have been a consciousness of health and well being developed in relationship with your early partners that you carry into your adult relationships.
Analysis, criticism and the urge for improvement are Virgoian qualities that might have surfaced early in relating. Therefore it might be helpful to reflect on the degree of perfection you expect in others. Or maybe more to the point the level of perfection you expect of yourself in relationship. Early in relationship you might have realised this was negotiable. Work habits and the way you spend your time was probably greatly influenced by others early on. Your early experience of siblings and friends were like work mates. You needed to join together with them on projects and plans just as you still need to do in your present relationship. As a partner you also need to feel like a work mate. Your kindred spirits respect and honour you and help you forge the sacredness you seek in your daily life.
Saturn is in the Third House
Another manifestation of this position could be the feeling of rejection by your sibs or feeling completely alone and separate from them. You may feel the need to become self-reliant and not have to depend upon the siblings for support, encouragement or comradeship. It may become imperative to detach, withdraw or take care of yourself on your own, contributing to an isolationist tendency. This pattern could be the foundation of feeling self-reliant in your adult relationships and not easily able to depend upon others for support.
In adult years, Saturn in the 3rd House could also be demanding, as you might again feel it is your responsibility to bring the siblings together. Issues around family gatherings, rituals or special occasions polarise the siblings once again into their childhood roles leaving you feeling that you must direct or control the gathering. One of the greatest tests with your siblings in later life may be the concerns about responsibility and decision making for an elderly parent. With Saturn here, you learn to be responsible, but not at the expense of our own individuality. It is in the sibling system that you first learn how to delegate, discern and let go of control in appropriate ways. Learning to differentiate who is responsible and set the appropriate boundaries becomes an important lesson for your Saturn in the third. Your kindred spirits encourage you to become your own boss and an author of your own life.
Being Kind to our Kin
The Sun is Conjunct Mercury
Saturn is Opposite Mercury
Uranus is Square Mercury
Chiron is Square Mercury
The 11th House is where we hope and wish for a better future, not only for our loved ones and ourselves but also for our wider family. While the 11th House suggests participation with others outside our household we are still prone to recreating unresolved family and relational patterns in the groups, social circles and professional associations we join. Underlying the social relationships of the 11th House represented by friends, colleagues and associates are the primitive patterns and expectations from our earlier peer relationships. Friendship is one of the keynotes of this House and while we feel we have more choice in creating our friendships, we may also discover left over sibling rivalries. The ideal scenario is that we become greater than who we are on our own and in this way friendship helps to expand our boundaries and encourages growth and exploration. The relationships of the 11th House refer to those forged outside the family circle.
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies
This House of relationship is where we meet the kindred spirits who we encounter in the world. Roles and positions have already been forged in our sibling and other relationships and we instinctively take these into our relationships in the broader community. Our impact on society and society's impact upon us is interconnected with our primary experiences of relationship. In the 11th House we become citizens of a larger community and meet our soul friends.
Relationships feel familiar, as they are kin, allies who are kindred spirits. Hopefully, the spirit that inspires and infuses us is the common link in our friends and colleagues. We can find the sense of belonging to a larger family, being individuals in a larger collective. However, the groups of friends, the group of colleagues, and the organisations we join reawaken incomplete relationship experiences and rivalry once again is experienced. Our friends, close colleagues and kindred spirits can also be the healing agents that help us reconcile and heal the pain of our earlier relationships.
In ancient Greece the polis was not only a representation of the city but also the spirit of the city-state. Here was where democracy flourished, the rights of citizens were respected and the early experiments at sharing power and influence were attempted. The 11th House of the Zodiac is political in that it links the individual in a spirit of equal relationship to others in the collective. Your understanding of the 11th House will help you consider how you forge a democratic, equal and co-operative relationship with others. Impinging upon the success of this is your earlier experiences of relating, your trust in human relationships and your unconscious expectations that you still harbour in relationships. Here you meet your kindred spirits in the world, who share your passions, witness your successes and share your burdens. Both the Zodiac Sign on the Cusp of this House and the planets contained in this sphere will help you reflect on your friendships and group affiliations
Eleventh House Cusp is in Taurus
With Taurus on the Cusp of the 11th House, you are at home with friends who are warm-hearted and reliable and who provide you with a sense of security and comfort in your relationship. In social situations you feel akin to others who are patient, trustworthy and have a sense of stability.
Through your friendships you develop a sense of worth coming to appreciate your reliability and constancy which contributes to you being a valued and trusted friend. Friends are a precious commodity; priceless in the amount of security and resource they offer and provide. While your circle of friends are not your family, they are close to the inner circle of your valued relationships. Friends are your touchstone to security as they provide a solid support network, trusty advice and a fixed point of reference. When things get rough you look to friends for solace as they provide a harbour to secure yourself in until the storm passes. However where it might become sticky is when it is time to move on.
Because you form such strong attachments to your friends and you invest your sense of self and resources in your friendships, you might feel rocked when they need to move on or develop new associations. Wherever Taurus is in the Horoscope points to an area where we might become over attached or possessive, unable to let go. Therefore it is important to reflect on this theme in terms of your friendships. You are passionate and involved with others but are you also able to let them be independent and free enough to do their own thing. Perhaps in the past you've noticed that hanging on often works against you and therefore your cosmic task here might be to value yourself enough in relationship to know that you are always valued and appreciated even at a distance. Taurus is also about possessions and ownership which you bring to the arena of friendships. Perhaps this echoes the wisdom which warns against the risk of lending money to friends. Or at least it alerts you to the complexity of lending valued treasures and hard earned resources to friends who might not value these as much as you. Friends do help you see what is of value and interest to you.
You share a lot of pleasure with your friends and bring your sensual awareness to relationship. Therefore with your friends, colleagues and associates you are at home sharing a sumptuous meal, a delicious red, a masterful musical composition or a beautiful artistic creation. You are generous with friends and ready to assist in times of need. But you are also aware of your need to be valued and your kindred spirits do highly appreciate you. Your soul friends treasure your friendship as they highly value your input into their lives.
You have no planets in the Eleventh House
As the poet describes, loving and committed relationships are forged by the alchemy of two individuals. Soul is expressed through individuality and when its unpredictable and mysterious nature is brought into intimate contact with another, a genuinely soulful relationship is possible. The 7th House is the astrological site where individuality and relationship converge. Astrologically, it is the quintessential House of relationship and its process embraces the experience of being with an equal other in a committed and intimate way. From the soul's viewpoint this is the arena where mutuality, reciprocity and respect for individuality can work to fashion a soulful relationship that embraces the unique character of each partner. Seventh House partners are not just marriage or life partners, but also close business partners and others engaged with you in a committed relationship.
Love consists in this ... that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other
Traditionally this sphere was known as the House of 'open enemies'. Whereas traditional astrology might literally ascribe qualities to a partner, contemporary astrology sees these qualities as mirror images of what is innate in us. In remaining unconscious of your 7th House energies, you proclaim them as belonging to someone else, generally your partner. We enter a mystery where we are drawn to what appears as opposite and different, yet is only a partial reflection of what is not yet conscious in us. What we sense is kin, congeniality, familiarity, yet not from the system we have known. Destiny hovers on the threshold of the 7th House; therefore the Sign on the Cusp is very often prominent in your partner's Horoscope.
We can draw an analogy between the arrival of the partner and the birth of a sibling. Powerfully conflicted feelings of love and rivalry, fascination and anger, closeness and separateness are ignited in new relationships. But this is the nature of intimate relationships as strands of each soul are woven together. Astronomically the 7th House is where the sun prepares to set. It is twilight, when the light elongates the shadows and we prepare to meet the dark. Therefore it is the partner who awakens an earlier stratum of psyche where unresolved or incomplete issues and patterns from other relationships may enter into our current relationship.
Our partners are companions, kindred spirits and intimate others. But human nature inclines towards moulding our partners with the clay of our own unresolved patterns and complexes. The material we use for this is often our own projections, fantasies and ideals. Following is a description of your 7th House energies which might help you recognise your own ideals or those you carry for your partners. In reflecting on these and becoming more conscious of underlying patterns, you can embrace these energies more fully in yourself allowing your relationships to be less focused on the past and more anchored in the present and, hopefully more soulful.
Seventh House Cusp is in Capricorn
Your Ascendant is Cancer; therefore the Earth Sign Capricorn is on your 7th House Cusp.
Earth is the Element of incarnation and materiality. Resources and possessions are important with earth on this Cusp. The contemporary Capricornian symbols of status, possessions and wealth are an important consideration in equal relationships. Do they become over stressed in this sphere? How you manage to exchange your resources with your partners is directly proportional to how bonded and trusting you feel in the relationship. You may project your need for success and acknowledgement on to a partner who is unable to mirror that back to you. Or you may trade your own pathway to the top of the corporate ladder for your partner's success. With Capricorn here the issue of authority, control, status and success are all in the mix of relationship. How you share these and acknowledge their presence in your relationship is ultimately important.
Earth is the Element of the five senses, and sharing the sensual world is important. Looking at fine art, listening to a traditional piece of music, and sharing a healthy meal, are all images of the important world of earthy pleasure. You want boundaries within a relationship without cutting off the life force, having a stable and committed relationship without it becoming fixed and bound to routines. You want to be able to participate with your partner in a successful life, rewarded by the hard work you do and acknowledged for your achievements. It is possible that you form a close relationship later in life, or perhaps choose a partner who is older. Another way to describe this is to say you bring a maturity and value to your relationships which you need respected and acknowledged. And therefore the perfect relationship probably does appear with age.
What you are first attracted to in others is their stability and patience. You appreciate their approach and attitude to worldly things, that conservative streak and the regard for tradition. Their ambition and dedication to work and surprisingly that quirky sense of self-deprecating humour inspire you. While you may attract these qualities in your quest for equal relationship, you will also attract the shadow of these qualities. The patient and careful planner is stuck on one idea. And what you thought was poignant and black humour has turned to pessimism and cynicism. And what's the use of having all that cash in the bank if you can't spend some of it? You need a relationship that helps you find your own authority, set your own limits and be the worldly wise person you know you are. Your ambition, urge to excel and that delicate balance between autonomy and aloofness get played out in your relationships.
Qualities you admire and are attracted to in others include discipline, commitment, economy, patience, authority, competence and those practical tips for being successful in the world. And it is these very qualities that a partner helps you find in yourself. So don't be surprised when your dear ones and kindred spirits have their Sun, Moon or other notable placements in Capricorn or excel at anything they work hard towards.
Chiron is in the Seventh House
However, it was also in Chiron's cave-home where the young learnt to be heroic, rising above their misfortunes to find their calling and become a champion. A pattern of fostering those who may be wounded or abandoned is your legacy. With Chiron in your 7th House it is important that the roles of helper, healer or administrator do not eclipse being an equal partner. You might need to learn the balance between being a helper and a partner, and hold the tension between your urge to help others and your own needs.
You may seek a mentor or healer in a relationship, being drawn to individuals who appear wise and caring. Yet underneath they might be damaged in their ability to relate to you on a personal level. Or you may be prone to recreating your role of healer and helper in your partnership by administering to your partner's wounds. Therefore it is necessary to reflect on equality and exchange in the relationship as the astrological pattern suggests that you may be prone to confusing helping with partnering.
Perhaps the fate of Chiron in your 7th House suggests that the earlier wounds of not belonging or the primitive feelings of abandonment emerge in an adult relationship to be healed. Hence early feelings of marginality may arise in your relationship to challenge you with finding your place in relationship and a sense of belonging. No doubt Chiron in your 7th House brings feelings of marginality and wounding into adult relating. Wherever Chiron is in the Horoscope it locates where the heroic act needs to be applied. Therefore you are confronted with healing your feelings of exclusion and marginality in relationship. This is done through relating to a gentle partner who helps soothe your sores and allows you to belong to a system where you do not feel excluded or excommunicated. Your healing journey begins in relationships. No wonder you are an inspired counsellor, a helpmate and a healer of relational scars. Your kindred spirits know the pain of exclusion. That is why they embrace and love you as they recognise that you belong to their tribe. Like a true hermit your kindred spirits are on the outskirts, not at the centre of your community.
To the ancient mythmakers, Venus and Mars were consistently paired together as companions, either lovers or close sibling allies. In Roman mythology they are the deities who preside over the Empire. To the Greeks Aphrodite and Ares were deeply attached passionate lovers or siblings. In the story of “The Odyssey” they are caught in a golden web woven by Hephaestus who wove the fine filament in order to entrap Aphrodite in bed with Ares. Their relationship is an erotic one. In Homer's earlier epic “The Iliad” their relationship is depicted as less magnetic, yet just as close. Aphrodite refers to him in this epic as 'dear brother'. Their relationship is devoted and warm-hearted. When we imagine these gods we think of them as eternal lovers, sometimes married, other times not. They represent two layers of soulmates: erotic and emotional intimacy as well as companionship. In psychological terms they represent our inner orientation to pleasure and passion, while in astrological terms they help identify what qualities attract us to others, what we value and desire. Physiologically they are our scent and libido, the innate attractive and active forces that draw us towards companionship.
There is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation and a single happiness, and that is called loving
In term of compatibility and conflict in relationship, Venus and Mars play a leading role. The complete picture of their placement in your horoscope can be fully assessed by a professional astrologer. For this report we are only analysing the planetary sign which signifies qualities and essences important in your intimate relationships.
Venus is pleasure and beauty. Both in body and in spirit, Venus symbolises what you find attractive and the values you place upon your relationships, what you need to feel partnered and your own inner sense of worth and value that wants to be appreciated, honoured and respected. Your Venus sign is a metaphor for those qualities you need in relationship to feel complete.
Mars is passion and desire. Whether spiritual, physical, intellectual or emotional Mars symbolises how you express your desires, frustrations and energy. In terms of relationship it suggests how you assert yourself, deal with conflict and make your desires transparent. Your Mars sign describes how you might express yourself, go after what you want and how you may deal with anger in relationship. In essence it is a symbol of how your life force naturally seeks expression.
Being opposite in nature, Venus and Mars are naturally attracted to one another and often a highlight of your soul mate's astrological constitution. Therefore take note of the sign placements of both Venus and Mars and how they are reflected in the horoscopes of intimate others. Use these descriptions to reflect on your values and desires. Venus themes in relationship focus on shared values, feeling loved and appreciated, money and pleasure, affection and sensuality while Mars brings themes of sex and desire, independence and individuality, dealing with conflict and the sharing of goals out into the open. By nature Venus is feminine and Mars is masculine; therefore gender wise Venus might be more integrated into the personality for women while Mars might be more accessible for men. That ”Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus thing again. Hence a man's Venus might be a fair description of women he is attracted to while a woman's Mars often describes the men she attracts.
Venus is in Aries
You value independence and freedom and therefore you seek this in your relationships. You want to share in the adventure of life holding tightly onto the flame of idealism, hope and romanticism. Your spirit of being positive and meeting life challenges is attractive and makes life with you exciting. But what happens when the flame flickers or worse still dies? How do you handle the darker sides of relationship? Well this is part of your learning curve. You deal much better with beginnings than you do with endings.
When you are attracted to someone you can be direct and out front which is enormously refreshing. You take others on face value, as you believe what you see is what you get. While you've learnt that this axiom is a bit naïve, you still enter your relationships with enthusiasm and gusto because that's what you value. You want a relationship that's alive and cutting-edge, and so your kindred spirits are co-adventurers and share your enthusiasm for exploration.
Passion, yes you know that feeling. When you are attracted to some one you heat up. And when they return your attention you are intensely focused on them and wildly romantic. However, when they turn away, you bristle with anger. You're passionate and emotional and so where there's passion there too is anger. Mars rules the sign of Aries so how you express these passions is in that planet's domain. It's natural for you to wear your heart on your sleeve, so why curb your enthusiasm when you feel close and connected. Perhaps it's wiser to recognise not everyone will respond to this. Those who love you love your brash and infectious nature.
Mars is in Aries
Being a self-starter and independent you may tend to take your own advice and create your own opportunities rather than depend on others. Being more comfortable in the leader's role, at the head of the pack, you are inclined to coaching or motivating others. Because you live spontaneously it's enormously frustrating to wait while others get ready or make up their mind. You're ready to go but are they? Impatience and autonomy get tempered in your relationships and you struggle to control the urge to run away when your independence is threatened or you feel you are not going anywhere with the relationship.
It's great that you are able to express yourself. But with intimate others you need to listen to their side of the story and deal with your anger when you don't get your way. You are also great at the chase and love the heat of the moment. But relationships have middles and ends as well, and those need a little more work. What you bring to your relationships is passion and excitement and what you want to find is a stimulating opponent who challenges you to be the best you can be.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along
But when? Well this is the riddle of relationship. Whatever arrangement or timing brings you into alignment with your kindred spirits is the inexplicable mystery of the soul. Astrology is a great aid in this regard as it can bypass layers of rational minds to explore timing in relationships. Astrology's timing techniques are invaluable in helping to focus on major and meaningful passages in relationship. Consulting a professional astrologer to explore these questions can be highly revealing and rewarding. Within the limits of this report we can draw on an aspect of your horoscope that will help you reflect on your encounters with kindred spirits. This is the House position of the North Node, a signpost that points to where soul may be encountered in relationship.
The House positions of the Nodes illustrate environmental factors that shape and influence your fate, including relationship. This is where the inner and outer worlds lead us to a rendezvous with soul. North Node experiences are out of the ordinary, since its nature is both subjective and participatory with the spiritual world. Therefore the House position of the North Node locates one of the settings where engagement with the spiritual self occurs. The South Node is in the opposite House and describes a familiar place, an area of safety, and a comfort zone that supplies an anchor for our relationships. However it is also a place where we can become fixed, caught in the safety zone of our complacency and neglect the invitation of the North Node. That would be a shame as it is at this pole where you might cross paths with a kindred spirit.
Considering this one image in your Horoscope invites you to feel more masterful in participating with your soul's journey and more receptive to close encounters with kindred spirits.
The North Node is in the Ninth House
No doubt you will cross many borders in your life; in fact you are a boundary-crosser, whether that is into new philosophies, countries or cultures. And it is on these thresholds that you meet your kindred spirits; they too travel between two worlds, expanding their minds, broadening their outlook and educating their souls. Like you, your kindred spirits stand on the platform of life waiting for the express to whisk them away. To find your tribe you are invited to follow your own truth and let your spontaneity be your guide. Who knows where your intuition will lead? But what we do know is that it is guided and protected by some divine force.
The North Node is in the 9th House of your birth chart with the South Node being opposite in the 3rd. This places the sphere of ideas and information in the opposite sector to meaning and imagination. While you might be instinctually able to gather together statements, pieces of evidence, figures, statistics and information, your life task is to infuse these facts with meaning and insight. Therefore you will be inspired to seek out alternate ideas, new techniques of understanding and educational methods. With your North Node in the 9th House you are called to expand your horizons, remove yourself from your familiar surrounds, move out of your comfort zone and look farther afield. There are broader issues, wider social parameters and cross-cultural experiences that you need to research in order to understand the full schema of your life. Your soul urges you to take flight into the search for meaning and the pursuit of higher values. To do this you need to develop a vision and not get trapped by the details of the smaller picture. Outside the neighbourhood and away from familiarity you cross paths with your soulmates. In the university of life, walking the spiritual path or in an ancient mosque you meet your kindred spirits. Also, once met, your kindred spirits will further inspire and urge these explorations.
While you may be more comfortable involved in detailed information and ideas, rather than exploring the larger picture, destiny calls you away from the safety zone of your neighbourhood and all its familiar connections. You are challenged to step away from the security of your schoolmates, your friends and familial surrounds to discover what feels missing. Your kin and friends are always a part of you, always there, a secure base where you can leave. Other kindred spirits are outside these familial and cultural safety sectors. Your gift is that you have an instinctual and intuitive way of being in the world and you will need to journey outside your comfort zones to find the languages that can help you express this. And when you step outside the coherent boundaries of your life you discover exciting new worlds populated by kindred spirits, who like you are searching for greater meaning. Don't get stuck in analysing or intellectualising it all, let your intuition serve you. It seems custom designed to lead you in the right direction.
Songwriter John Denver's lyrics capture the paradoxical nature of love for each individual. Every relationship whether it is familial or formal, professional or personal, intimate or casual is an invitation to self-discovery. We bring our hopes, secrets, expectations, resources and desires to our relationships and through the alchemy of interaction come to better know ourselves and others. Soul does not strive to work out or control relationship but inspires us to consider what is being asked of us; what is the fate of this relationship? In this way astrology is a unique tool in helping us reflect on the purpose and patterns of our relationships, not to fix or control them, but to understand their complexity and place in our lives.
Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel For some a way of living, for some a way to feel And some say love is holding on and some say letting go And some say love is everything, some say they don’t knowPerhaps Love
Kindred spirits are relationships in which a deep bond is present, not inspired by the teachings of a self-help manual but through the soul's grace. And that is a mystery which astrology helps us to consider. I have written this report to promote a spirit of inquiry into the patterns and purposes of soul in your relationships. Like soul there may be contradiction and confusion, as it seeks understanding not clarity. Also the report is limited in its nature to explore the more detailed and intricate patterns of your horoscope. However it is the author's sincere hope that it provides an initial step to your reflection on relationships. Perhaps love in the end is what we are willing to bring to it, like the poet Ovid implied in “The Art of Love”: “If you'd be loved, be worthy to be loved”.